How does Vaginismus affect sex?

What is Vaginismus?

Vaginismus is a condition marked by involuntary contractions of the pelvic floor muscles that surround the vagina. These involuntary muscle spasms can range from mildly uncomfortable to severely painful.  Vaginismus can affect activities like being able to insert a tampon, having a doctor do a pelvic exam, or having sexual intercourse. It is important to remember that a woman does not purposely control or will the tightness to occur; it happens involuntarily, much to the confusion, frustration and disappointment of the woman and her partner. (Find out more.)

How can Vaginismus affect your sex life?

For those suffering from this condition, the effects are obvious. It is up to you and your doctor to determine if you have Vaginismus but once you are aware that you do, how does it affect you?

This condition can make it literally impossible to engage in penetrative sex due to the intense muscle spasms. What might start out as a passionate moment ends in frustration and sometimes embarrassment. A woman can tend to feel that she is flawed, damaged or unable to experience pleasure.

In addition to the emotional and physical anguish this condition can cause a woman, her partner must also cope with the effects. A partner might feel rejected, frustrated, guilty, worried or confused. If not treated, both partners can end up feeling distant, alone and unsatisfied.

Sex without penetration is still sex

Sometimes, people have a hard time wrapping their mind around this. We’re made to believe from an early age that sex means a penis in a vagina. Not only is this hetero-centric but it’s also incredibly limiting for many people who don’t find it fully satisfying. Since only 25% of women orgasm from penetration (and we’re assuming they’re all telling the truth), that leaves 75% who need external stimulation.

Women suffering from vaginismus can benefit from external stimulation, not only just for pleasure but for some women, trust is developed through a sexual act that does not involve penetration. Some products are even developed with this consideration in mind.

Toys like PULSE II DUO, which have external vibrators that can rest against your clitoris, can be used without any penetration. PULSE II DUO is a couples toy – the silicon wings wrap around a guy’s penis, and the oscillating vibrations on the inside stimulate him to orgasm. Meanwhile, the powerful external vibrator can be controlled via remote. Using PULSE II DUO you can have great sex without penetration, in whichever position is most comfortable for you.

Other external vibrators can provide stimulation without penetration and can be used with or without a partner.

What else can you do?

Effective treatment approaches combine pelvic floor control exercises (Kegel exercises), insertion or dilation training (Progressive Desensitization), pain elimination techniques, and exercises designed to help women identify, express and resolve any underlying emotional issues. It is entirely up to you and your doctor to properly determine your course of action. Aside from kegel exercises and dilators, your doctor may also recommend talk therapy. Just remember that there ARE solutions and options for treatment as well as options for your intimate life.

Source: Vaginismus: How Does It Affect Sex? | Hot Octopuss

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