The literal definition of tantra is to “weave,” or “loom” in Sanskirt. This weaving refers to the weaving of the “masculine” and “feminine” energy that lies within all of us. Masculine and feminine weaving together transcend the human body into a wave of bliss and duality. Now, I want to note that the meaning of masculine and feminine in Tantra is not concrete to man or woman. It is the forces – yin and yang – that reside within all of us, no matter your gender identity. Barbara Carrellas from Urban Tantra mentions this by stating, “Bringing them together and balancing them before making love is not an exercise about gender, but rather an act of inner balancing and centering that helps us open ourselves to deeper intimacy.”
The tantra I write/have studied about is always gender-inclusive and non-heteronormative.
So, how do we awaken our masculine and feminine (Shiva and Shakti) within ourselves, and how does this relate to sex?!
The simple answer is: harnessing the masculine and feminine allows us to utilize it into sexual energy that truly feels connected. This transforms your sexual encounters with your partner into sacred sex (not in a church way) which in Tantra is a path to transcendence and enlightenment.
Unfortunately, it really isn’t that simple. Attaining tantric and sacred sex takes much time and effort, but Tantric experts say that the time and effort that you put into your sexuality is what you get out. So, if you spend time and slow down, the effort will pay off in the form of mindblowing sex with your partner! So worth it…!
How to incorporate Tantra into your everyday sex life
This is the aspect where folx thinks that this takes years and years of training, but it doesn’t! There are simple, actionable ways to incorporate Tantric practices into your sex life!
You don’t have to go “full-on” tantra!
Stop! You don’t need to be packing up to fly halfway around the world for a tantric retreat in Bali (especially during a pandemic). It would be awesome, but that isn’t feasible or affordable for folx who just want to have some better sex! Here are some ways to incorporate tantra into your sex life.
Get to Know Your Own Body
Tantra is about awareness. Awareness of the mind, body, and soul. Once you’re able to get to know your quirks and turn-ons, you will start to be able to be in tune with your partner as well. Try to incorporate some meditation and mindfulness practices (sans sex) into your daily life as to practice getting in touch with your body more closely, then move on to sex.
Try Meditative Masturbation
Okay, I know you’re thinking….”That seems so complicated!” And, that’s exactly why you need meditative masturbation into your life! Meditative masturbation actually makes the process as simple as possible. Why? Because meditation just means being in the present moment. Meditative masturbation allows you to remain in the present moment and take control of your pleasure, as you get to decided and truly feel what feels good and what doesn’t.
I get asked this a lot. Can I use toys while practicing meditative masturbation? I say, hell yes! You can use whatever your body is craving to feel good. And trust me, after you meditatively masturbate, it will tell you. For a simple vibrator, I recommend MedAmour’s Volita Slim Vibrator.This vibrator is slim and simple enough not to overpower you or your thoughts, but to press on those pleasure buttons so perfectly, you’ll be in a meditative post-orgasm bliss in no time.
Get In Touch With Your Partner
Tantra can definitely be used solo, but getting to know your partner’s body can create a more harmonious bond between you. That means super-powerful, mind-blowing sex coming your way! A great way to build that bond is by massaging each other! Massage invites you to get to know the sensations your partner wants to feel and creates a sensual experience for both of you that allows no-pressure fun. When trying a massage on your partner, the massage oil choice is actually important!MedAmour’s Exsens Amethyst Sweet Almond Massage Oil is the perfect massage oil for incorporating tantric practices into everyday sensual routines. The amethyst allows for stress-free relaxation and the sweet almond oil hydrates the skin making it soft and supple to the touch. A perfect combination for a connection building massage.
Tantric sex allows for a deeper connection into the mind, body and soul. Remember, tantra is all about creating a reality in which we love to live.
“Founded in 2019, (formerly known as Sex Ed and the City) Sex Ed with Lindsay is an educational and opinion-based blog in response to negative and/or uninformed stigmas on sex, health, wellness, identity, and relationships. My goal in life is for sex talk at any age to be less “taboo” and more accepted.
I became passionate about sex ed when I was writing a research paper in college about the drastic rise in population over the last several decades. During my research, I came across articles stating how access to better health resources and education can have an immensely positive effect on any community, no matter where in the world. “