Let’s make this clear:
sex should absolutely not hurt (unless you want it to). And, typically, the
type of pain you would want to experience doesn’t come from your typical PIV
(penis in vagina) sex.
If you are indeed experiencing pain when either a penis, a tampon or any type of toy designed for sexual pleasure enters or gets near your vagina, you are suffering from dyspareunia. But, what is dyspareunia? This is an umbrella term used by the medical community to describe pain that occurs before, during and/or after intercourse.
Your doctor should take
everything you say at face value and tirelessly work with you to get to the
root cause of your discomfort. There is always a reason and always an answer.
If your doctor dismisses
you, you should dismiss THEM and find a new one.
Possible causes of dyspareunia
It is important for you
to identify when your pain starts so you can partner with a medical
professional in order to figure out what is causing it.
Does the pain start upon
entry into the vagina? Or does it tend to accompany deep thrusting? Is it
caused due to psychological distress such as anxiety or even PTSD? Emotional
factors could cause both pain upon entry and from thrusting.
Pain upon entry
If you are experiencing
pain when something begins to enter your vagina, a common cause could be a lack
of lubrication. This can be caused from not enough foreplay or lack of physical
Your body may be
experiencing a drop in lubrication due to hormonal issues and/or changes such
as childbirth or breastfeeding. In addition, many medications could cause
dryness and lack of arousal.
If you are currently on
any medications, discuss this side effect with your medical provider to see if
something can be done. If you are going through any hormonal changes that you
are aware of, a trip to the doctor could help as well.
There are a wide variety
of lubricants available! Keep in mind, if you are going to use lube, find
something that was created specifically for intimate lubrication. Stay away
from products like lotions made for your skin or petroleum jelly.
It is extremely easy to
knock your vaginal balance out of whack when you introduce something foreign
into your body.
If you find that you are
tensing up prior to sex, even when you think about it, you may want to choose a lubricant that is infused with CBD oil. This lube can help enhance blood flow, relax you
and has been created by women for women.
If a lube doesn’t help,
please see your doctor. Sometimes there can be a type of injury or abnormality
present that can make any type of penetration painful or impossible.
Try a dilator
Let’s first talk about
what a dilator is not; it is not a dildo! Many people—especially those who
experience painful sex—can get overwhelmed at the thought of using anything
that resembles a phallic instrument.
A dilator is used to help heal and gently stretch muscles that have either been
atrophied or have been hurt due to surgery or some type of trauma. Many times,
women who have undergone chemotherapy seek out the use of a dilator to loosen
up tense muscles and help deal with scar tissue.
Those who use dilators
start small and then gradually work their way up to the size of a typical
penis. This dilator kit has been designed specifically for a gradual and
progressive regime that will help help the vagina.
As you start with the
smallest dilator and then work your way to the largest, you can experience a
whole new world of being able to embrace your sexuality.
A doctor can help assist
you in putting together a safe routine that is appropriate for your body.
If you are looking for
something that can eventually help with pleasure immediately or in the near
future, a vibrating dilator can be the answer. This product was designed by a female
physician and features a smooth surface that is extremely gentle. The vibration
can help with other sexual issues including reaching orgasm.
Pain from thrusting
If you find that your
body can indeed accommodate penetration, but you feel pain during the thrusts
of sexual intercourse, do not ignore this! Certain types of illnesses or
conditions can cause you to feel discomfort.
disease or ovarian cysts can cause pain internally. In addition, if you have undergone
any type of surgery such as a
hysterectomy or had a type of cyst or tumor removed, it may be time for
another check up.
Yearly checkups are
always recommended whether you are feeling pain during sex or not. Take care of
all of your parts! They are yours for life. Treat them with respect, love and
care; you deserve all the pleasure
life has to offer.