Menopause means you are invisible. It means you are no longer necessary. Menopause means you are irrelevant and not sexy. It means that your chance to create new life is over. It means….. Ok. Stop. It. Right. Now. Menopause simply means that you no longer get your period.
So you no longer bleed in a monthly fashion. It means you no longer spend your hard-earned money on pads, tampons and other supporting products. It means you can wear white pants and shorts whenever you want without fear.
When you break it down like this, in black and white, on a screen, it doesn’t seem like such a big deal. Maybe it could be something we can all look forward to? Afterall, the chances of pregnancy become pretty much null and if you’re not into period sex, menopause is definitely a win.
But, women are not just black and white words on a screen. We are humans, with messy confusing feelings, hormones and preconceived notions of what we should and shouldn’t do. For some, the idea of Menopause and sex seems like an impossible combination. We even get messages from media outlets dictating to us how we should feel. Some of us even suffer from years of trauma surrounding our periods (told you it was messy).
So, yeah. Menopause can be a big deal. One of the biggest things affected? Your sex life.
Stop Looking for Things to Just Happen
Just like many things when you get older, you learn that the only one in control of things is you. Not your partner, not The Tooth Fairy, not your parents, the one and only YOU.
This is a huge change from when you first got your period between the ages of 11-13. Things happened to you.
You had about .05% control over what happened to you and your life. If your upbringing was anything like mine, you could talk on the phone with friends between the hours of 6 pm to 8 pm and could choose to eat pizza only on Fridays.
Adults determined your entire schedule. Once you had an opportunity to make a decision, it felt either overwhelming and you chalked up the end result as something that was outside of your control.
And, just like everything else at that age, getting your period on a random day at a time that was most likely totally inconvenient to you, was something that just happened. The ticking time in your underwear finally exploded.
Now, you are an adult. You have control. Lots of it. So, even though now you may be starting menopause—another phase of your magical life—you have control.
Granted, you cannot force your uterus to bleed monthly (and why would you want to?), but you can choose to make decisions that give you all the big girl control you need.
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Just Do It
One disconcerting side effect of menopause is a declining libido. This is due to less estrogen and decreased blood flow to the vagina which can make it harder to orgasm (like we need this extra hurdle in our lives). The good news is that thanks to improved access to sex toys, lubricants and the availability of resources, going through menopause and enjoying sex is a reality. Shop for products like lubricants that can give you an extra boost, much like stimulating Bliss CBD Intimate Oil. CBD-infused products like these can make you feel more relaxed, open, and susceptible to that Big O.
So, grab some lube and get to work so you can bask in your own glow. Turn that Big O into a Big OMG YES! Check out Le Wand Petite Wand. It’s tres cute and a touch more powerful than your run-of-the-mill vibe.
Check out the Supplements Aisle
Hot flashes, mood swings, night sweats, anxiety, and fatigue can plague you for a bit during this special, special time. But you got this, girl. Relief can be found at the nearest health food store in the supplement aisle. Black Cohosh is one of the most studied supplements that can ease night sweats. (Side note, I’ve heard about this little wonder for many years, because many women I know swear by it).
Take a little road trip to the coolest Whole Foods (because you’re a grown woman with control) and see what you can find. Pick up a Kombucha and some succulents while you’re at it, too.
Book Some Time with Your Gyno
It may be beneficial to see your gynecologist or general practitioner to talk about what’s been going on down there lately. Just having a doctor listen to your fears, frustrations and trepidations can make you feel normal. Plus, he or she can make sure your health is indeed normal. There could be treatments available that you can look into to help ease the transition, such as hormone therapy. This isn’t necessarily for everyone, but it’s good to know there are a lot of options.
There’s Always Research
One of the best ways to take power and control into your own hands is to learn and understand as much as you can about menopause and sex. The more you know, the more you’ll feel comfortable and understand exactly what you can do in order to calm those nagging symptoms. Check out some books on menopause that will help put control—and knowledge—back in your own hands.